


Every Story Has Its Scars

by low_qualityhope



Series: Scarred Hearts [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Almost smut?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, alec just needs a hug, and magnus is 100 percent okay with that, but they dont, family issues because hello? have you met TV Maryse Lightwood?, fluffy shit because its malec come on, magnus has Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10598250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/low_qualityhope/pseuds/low_qualityhope
Summary: “I know.” Alec smiled, just a little. It softened his eyes. “I want to. You deserve to know.”There was something there, in the way he said it, that made Magnus think he was talking about more than insecurity of his body.





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't like the subject of, or reading about, self-harm, be careful reading this. It doesn't describe the actual act, and the scars are not too explicit or anything, but if anything like that triggers you or disturbs you, be warned.  
> Anyway, hi! For some reason, this took me like a whole month to write, but here you go. It can be set pretty much whenever you want in either the book timeline or the TV timeline, as long as Malec are together and have been for a while. Whatever, just take it :)  
> I listened to "Remedy," by Adele like a million times whilst writing this, so go listen to that. The original is best.

"Every Story Has Its Scars"

 

_"This ain't easy,_

_It’s not meant to be,_

_Every story has its scars.”_

In general, Magnus and Alec were a very calm, talk-things-through kind of couple whenever they had a disagreement or fight; it was just the way Alec was, and Magnus had lived long enough and been in enough relationships to know that it was almost always the best option. As a result, they rarely fought over anything significant (not counting that one time Alec had refused to watch _Harry Potter_ \- saying that it was “unrealistic”- and Magnus had given him the silent treatment for two whole days) and, if they did, they would sit down and talk about it. They didn’t disagree over many things. Simple.

There was one thing, however, that they did seem to disagree on. And it was driving Magnus crazy.

It was late evening in New York City- it’d been a hot day, and the general feel of Magnus’ loft was one of laziness. Which, actually, wasn’t true. He had been working. Maybe he hadn’t pulled his ass off the sofa all day, but at least when he was lazy it was productive. Alexander, bless him, had stumbled in around seven having been let off relatively early. His parents had had all of their children out on missions all day from six that morning, though, and the poor boy was exhausted. They’d put on a movie (sadly, not _Harry Potter_ ) with the promise that Alec was allowed to fall asleep at any time throughout it.

That didn’t happen, though. On the contrary, he’d responded to the warlock’s kisses willingly, and the film in the background was soon forgotten in favour of each other. Magnus was in his lap in no time, fingers tangled in that luscious dark hair, taking shameless satisfaction in the quiet, pleasured little moans and whimpers his Shadowhunter was letting out.

Slowly, Magnus inched one hand out of Alec’s hair and down his sides, enjoying how the muscles rippled at his touch. Keeping Alec distracted with his lips and tongue, he slid his fingers just barely under the hem of Alec’s shirt, feeling the hard, heated body beneath-

With a gasp, Alec jerked his head away from his boyfriend’s, staring wide-eyed at Magnus’ hand, which had frozen halfway. “Magnus- I don’t- can we maybe…?”

Magnus groaned, for once not bothering to hide his frustration as he rolled off to the side again. “Alexander, we need to talk about this.” At Alec’s expression, he continued. “I need to know why you don’t want this, darling.”

Alec brought his knees up to his chest, curling in on himself. “W-why? Why can’t we just…I don’t see why we have to.”

“We don’t, Alexander. Contrary to popular belief, I do not actually need sex to survive. I don’t want it if you don’t, I don’t mind. What I do mind, however, is us not communicating.” His voice had softened again by now; it was impossible to stay at all angry with Alec Lightwood when he looked like that, like a kicked puppy. “Please, love. Try to explain?

The Shadowhunter stayed quiet for what must have been over five minutes, lower lip pinched between his teeth and bottle-blue eyes darting around like they always did when he was nervous- like he was physically searching for a solution. Magnus let him, knowing that he need time to decide.

Eventually, though, Alexander let out a heavy breath and stood up. When he turned to face Magnus, he looked a little more confident despite the flickering worry and doubt in his eyes; Magnus smiled at him in silent support. Then Alec’s hands went to the collar of his shirt and made to pull up, and alarm bells went off in Magnus’ head.

“Whoa,” he said, holding out a hand. “Alec, you don’t have to do this, you know that, right? You don’t have to-,”

“I know.” Alec smiled, just a little. It softened his eyes. “I want to. You deserve to know.”

There was something there, in the way he said it, that made Magnus think he was talking about more than insecurity of his body. He opened his mouth to say something, another reassurance, perhaps, but Alec didn’t let him; with one last, centering deep breath, Alec tugged his shirt over his head and suddenly there was his body, the creamy-white skin that Magnus had previously only been allowed to dream of, right in front of his eyes.

“Alexander,” he breathed after a moment of simply sitting there, staring. “You- you’re beautiful, you have to know that.”

Alec sighed, looking at Magnus meaningfully, like he’d missed the point. When the warlock only looked confused, he took a step forward and moved his left hand down his body, touching the insides of his arms, and then his sides, where Magnus’ fingers had stroked along before. Frowning, Magnus leaned closer.

For a second he only saw Alec. The curling black Marks, typical for Shadowhunters, that were decorating his chest, twining round his hips, stomach. The subtle, rippling muscles that sculpted his body, giving him the air, almost, of a feral cat; sleek and fast, beautiful but deadly. And then, if he looked even closer, there were scars: faint silver scars from old runes that would never truly fade, and marks of battle, too-

Those weren’t rune scars.

They were quiet, almost invisible, but they were there. Along the bottom right and left of his stomach, then more on the inside of his lower and upper arms, lay little white lines- not evidence of a stele or a demon’s claws, but neat, orderly scars. Old wounds. Wounds that Alec had inflicted on himself.

“You see?” Alec said softly, eyes wide and worried in his too-pale face. It hurt Magnus more than the physical, what was screaming at him in front of his very eyes, ever would; the fear, the bone, _soul_ -deep need for Magnus to understand, to love him regardless.

Magnus understood that.

Without replying, he leant forward so the side of his face was pressed against Alec’s stomach, and he heard the sharp intake of breath, felt the tightness of his muscles. Needing to make sure his love was okay, Magnus tilted his face up, whispering his words. “Are you alright, Alexander? Can I touch you?”

Alec nodded, a small, shy thing, but it was seen and appreciated. Carefully, gently, like he was a cracked glass sculpture that need fixing, the warlock placed his ringed hands on either side of where his cheek was resting, feeling Alec jump slightly at the cool kiss of metal against his heated skin. Magnus moved his hands up gradually, stroking, caressing, practically _worshipping_ as his lips forced words of thanks and praise into this poor, insecure boy.

Maybe Magnus should have seen something like this coming. Alexander was strong, yes, a trained warrior, but he’d been brought up by fierce, controlling people, taught to love without being allowed someone _to_ love. That, along with the feelings for Jace that he just couldn’t control, couldn’t have been easy on such a young person.

Because he was. Alec was so, so young, and he had so much more to discover, but he had also seen too much. This world was cruel, that Magnus had come to terms with centuries ago. There were people out there, people who were too pure and innocent to have to live here, people who seemed more holy, more angelic than the children of the Angel themselves, sometimes.

And Alexander Lightwood was one of those people.

“Magnus?” Those dark blue eyes were watching him carefully, still with the fear that seemed to have lodged itself permanently into his brain. Magnus wondered just how long it had been there, and decided they needed to talk about this properly soon. Right now, however, was all about loving the wonderful, amazing, beautifully broken person in front of him

_“Magnus?”_ Alec had said. A devastatingly simple question laden down with weights and weights of thoughts; emotions and feelings, insecurity and hesitancy. What could Magnus ever say that would answer all of that?

“Alexander.” His voice, which was meant to strong and calming, came out quiet, a broken whisper. “You- I love you.”

At that, at those three little, infinitely big words, Alec’s shoulders slumped, and the tense muscles over his body relaxed just slightly, giving the warlock the courage to carry on. “I love you, I love you so much it scares me, sometimes, just how much I’m willing to do for you. Alexander, I’ve lived so, so long. At this point I’ve fallen in love so many times and hit the ground so hard after each that new love is almost non-existent for me. But you- you’re different.” He let out a low chuckle. “By Lilith, of course you are. You’re a Lightwood, damn it. And you’re nothing like your parents, or anyone else I’ve ever met.

“You’re beautiful, too. Don’t- don’t try to deny it, you are. You just don’t know and, if I’m to be entirely truthful, that only adds to it. Those scars don’t take away from your beauty, either. They’re just like all of your others: battle scars.” Alec protested again, gripping Magnus’ hands where they were twined with his, but Magnus hushed him. “They’re battle scars, Alec, because this is just as much of a battle as one with a demon. The only difference is that the demons you face wear masks, that’s all.”

Alec’s eyes were unbearably soft when Magnus had finished. Slowly, he sat back down on Magnus’ right, a small smile finally blossoming on his lips- blossoming, and it didn’t even stop at his mouth. For such a serious person, even a tiny hint of happiness could light up his whole face in no time. “I- thank you. I needed that.”

Magnus tugged his Shadowhunter towards him gently, tucking Alec’s head against his chin. He smiled as well when Alec curled up against him, long limbs folding together like a cat’s. “I know.”

A laugh vibrated against his chest. “Of course you did.”

Later, Magnus thought, they would sit down and talk this through, when it had started, if Alec needed help, whether or not he actually did want to take the next step in their relationship. He needed to know any and all of the ways he could support him.

Later.

For now, simply being held in the arms of the person you loved was still the best cure for this situation, and Magnus was more than willing to help. When it came to Alec Lightwood, he was nothing if not true to his word.

END

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from "Remedy," by Adele.  
> For now, this is a one-shot, but I'm open to writing another scene on either the talk they'll have, their possible first time, or anything else you might want. Leave a comment and let me know x


End file.
